I Have to Head Back to Move Forward…

So, I’m looking for a part-time job in order to bring in some more money so that my wife and I can start saving for our workshop.

A while back, my wife and I bought a large shed that we were going to convert into a tiny house, but circumstances changed and we were unable to start working on it. So, after I quit my job and began working on my art full-time, we decided that we could turn all or part of the shed into a workshop so that we could expand our workspace and get out of our bedroom.

As embarrassing as it is, our bedroom looks like a hoarder’s house with paths and everything. It’s not good. I mean that in all seriousness, it’s not good for our mental health. Being in this room is quite depressing and causes a lot of anxiety for me, but mostly my wife, who feels she has failed as a housekeeper. But, in all honesty, it’s mostly my fault, as I’ve been home for the last few months and haven’t done anything to make things better.

So, since I don’t have much money coming in from my artwork and online sales, I’ve decided to find a part-time job to help save some money so that we can begin renovating our shed and turn it into a workshop.

I know that after we complete the renovation, move our supplies, and clear our bedroom from this clutter, we will be able to breathe much better and be able to restore our sanity.

I had my reasons for quitting my job a few months ago that I don’t regret. But, now it’s time to head back into the workforce in order to bring in a little extra cash.

My last post talked about how I felt in this stage of my life and art-building career and how I felt like a fraud.  Imposter Syndrome was something I’ve read about multiple times and have always, in some way, felt that way when it came to my art. These last few weeks, it’s been overwhelming.

I made many plans in the days after quitting my job that I hoped to reach while building my art business. I haven’t reached them. I may have placed too much on myself and made my goals unreachable. I’m not sure. But as September came around, and I realized I wasn’t where I wanted to be, very strong feelings of being a failure began to work their way into my thoughts.

I feel like I’m trying to be something that I’m not.

I’m not an artist…I can’t write well enough to be an author or blogger…no one reads or listens to my posts, so what’s the point?

I have a sinking feeling in my gut that my dream of working from home and making money from my artwork is coming to an end. And going back to work only amplifies that feeling. I told myself in the beginning that going back to work would mean only one thing; I’ve failed in achieving my only dream.

Do you see what I mean?

I’ve placed so much baggage on myself that I was bound to stumble and fall at some point, with all of that baggage crushing me underneath.

I’ve cleared my mind a little of that baggage and realized one thing; going back to work, even for a short period of time to save some money for our workshop is worth it. Because, once we do finish the shop, we will be able to move our supplies and open up our room. We will be able to spread out our work area and get more goals accomplished, which doesn’t happen without some extra money coming in. I know, after finishing the shop, I can quit and return with a smarter set of goals.

At the beginning of the Shawnee Rising Podcast, months before I quit my job, I talked about needing my own creator space in order to spread out. Not having accomplished that goal, I believe I derailed every goal afterward because I didn’t have the space to accomplish those goals.

In that episode, I also talked about how being afraid of failure shouldn’t be an excuse to not create, which is something I have failed to remember.

(I’ll share more about my podcast and when I’ll be returning for new episodes in a later post.)

So, my advice to those just starting out and feeling stuck; look back on your goals and see if you’ve set them too high. Bring them down to something manageable and after accomplishing them, set some more. Keep going and don’t give up, because there are going to be times when you feel like you’re a failure. But just look back at your goals and find out if there was one that you didn’t accomplish for whatever reason. It may be the only thing keeping you from moving forward.

For me, it was a workspace.

I NEEDED a workspace, and instead of working on it, I set out to accomplish goals that relied on me completing that workspace goal.

I need to return to that goal.

I AM returning to that goal of creating my space. That place that I can go to and know exactly what needs to be done.

And then do it.

Best of luck,

Niyâwe! Thank you!

Wanna support Shawnee Rising Studios? Hit me up on my Patreon and/or Buy Me A Coffee! You can support me by sharing those pages as well as sharing my Online Studio with your friends and family.


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